The murder mystery
It was a dark and stormy night. I was called out as there had been a murder. When I had arrived the murder was gone and had left rotting corpse there was a trail of blood leading to tire tracks i hopped in my tuck and followed the tracks until they stop out side a hotel i ran in and said to put the place on lockdown soon i found him 30 minutes that was a good movie yea it was right what! who are you your worst nightmare ahh help hahaha bye police open up oh no bye bud hes gone whats next.
Hey Liam, Carter here from Paroa school. I really liked your murder story, I really love the concept of of a 100 word story. I like the effort that you put in to this writing piece.
ReplyDeleteSome things that you could improve on would be the end part; maybe you could add more to the story like some more descriptive words onto it and to mak it so you arent just putting in fillers at the end to make the 100 word gap.
This reminds me of a writing piece I did where the cap was 750, it was hard to do because I had so many ideas that I wanted to get down.
Other than that I relly liked the post and hope to see more of the wuality work.
Carter.
Hi
ReplyDeletehi my name is archie from paroa school. Great job but next time maybe use some puntuation in your writing like commas and full stops,and also spell check your writing because there were spelling mistakes in it, and also check out my blog
ReplyDeletehttp://paroagreyarchieh.blogspot.com/ thanks bye.